More Than a Revelation

A few years ago I read a book called Broken Things. It was a small book that talked about how God could only use something when it was broken. It is a simple but true fact that NOTHING can be used until it is broken. You must break the protective packaging on a bottle of pain reliever in order to find relief. You have to break the shell of an egg to cook or eat it. Likewise the heart must be broken in order to be used by God.

In the past few months I feel as if God is breaking me for something. I can't tell you how many nights I have sat in my bed and asked the same questions over and over with no answer but wait, watch and pray. I thought once I published the book I would be released from this valley. It is close but not done. Just a few weeks and I pray that things will get better. My wonderful friend and Elder Myrtis Brooks told me that this book would be a blessing to so many. When he passed away I lost my zeal to finish the project. I can honestly say things have not been the same since then. I put the book on hold for months. It was paid in full and just sitting on my computer. I think my grief and feelings of loss were stronger than what I knew was the right thing to do.

So now here I am Physically spent, financially drained and emotionally a wreck. I am just a few steps away from having my book in my hand but once again fear has taken over. In the years since I started writing my manuscript many people have published SEVERAL books. I am so afraid my book will not measure up to those who have published before me I feel paralyzed.

Today I think I came to the point of breaking. I am ready to do what I have to do. I can no longer fear what is unknown or what others may think of my writings. Each entry in that book was placed on my heart by God. I also have to honor the memory of the man of God who, when I could not pray for myself stood in the gap for me.

It is my prayer that as you read the pages I have penned you will be blessed. I pray you will find freedom from the bondage of the enemy and see that God is still actively working on your behalf. If one person is blessed by the things I have shared I will feel that what I have done was not in vain. The things I expose are not super scandalous but for me they were hard to share. I am allowing the Lord to break my silence so my words may be used to bless others.

Thank you for reading this post and I pray you will also read the book and it will be a blessing to you to read as it was for me to write.

In His Service
Teresa

There are some things you can only say to God.

In My life I have had some minor problems with my mouth. What I mean is I have always been a talker. In school I talked so much I had to sit by the teacher. However she too was punished because when I couldn't talk to my friends I would talk to her. I also have to admit I was a taddler. If you did it and I saw it you got it!

As an adult I became a teacher and made good use of my "talent" but I had a little problem with gossip. For those of you who don't know gossip is taddling for big kids. We are careful to hide it under "well I thought you should know or just keep them in your prayers".

Thank God I have been delivered from that but I can be tempted. recently I have learned that you cannot say everything you think or feel. Some things can only be said to God. You can share your thoughts about your new idea without someone making it theirs. You can share how you may be angry with our mate without Him holding it against your mate for the remainder of time. You can even share a small rant about your job without receiving a counseling statement or getting a three day suspension. Yes the ear of God is quite different from the human ear.

The ear of God can takes your manic scream and turn it into a calm whisper. His ear is not judgemental, it will not say I told you so. His ear will not remind you that you made the same mistake a month ago. The ear of God will hold your secrets until time is no more. The ear of God will not trick you into trusting him and then turn on you and make your pain the joke of the group. The ear of Gos is not connected to a mouth.

Over the past few months I have been trying to only share my pain and frustration with God but alas my quick temper and trusting heart have still gotten me into more trouble. I am sure this is an area that God is working on with me and I have yet to truly pass the test.

So today I make the pledge to think before I speak. To share only the things that are edifying to the brethren and to make God my secreat keeper. This is no disrespect to you who are my inner circle, we will still share our hopes dreams, successes and failures. I trust you and love you because you are a gift from God.

A Revelation Of Reality

Since my time in the desert I have returned to a vast amount of turmoil. While away I found time to bask in the glory of God , to hear His voice and get clarity on my questions. I was sure that the peace I had found there would follow me across the rocky mountains of Tucson to the lush rolling hills of Georgia. But alas I was wrong.

Now I was home with very little time to sit and ponder the things of God. I walked off the plane and back to my hurried life. I soon became weary but continued to look to the Lord for my help.

In my situation I had no choice but to allow the Lord to carry me through my days. Each night I felt as if I was being gently placed on my knees to worship and thank him before drifting off to sleep.

We continued this way for days with me allowing Him to carry me and dry my tears of hurt and confusion. Finally it was Sunday and I was carried into the tabernacle ready to worship and find the rest that only fellowship and meditation could bring.

I was placed at the foot of the cross, a place I knew well, and then I exhaled. I was engulfed in praise and worship as we sang songs of healing and redemption. With each song I felt myself grow stronger. I was encouraged by the word of God found in the music. I knew I could "wait upon the Lord and my strength would be renewed". I was "There was no one else for me but Jesus". I became sure I could endure when we sang "All of my life in every season you are still God I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship....."

As I stood in fellowship with those who love the Lord, my body was upright but my spirit lay prostrate before the King. I sang in humble adoration to the one true lover of my soul. As the Pastor began to pray I closed my eyes and allowed my spirit to crawl into the lap of the Father. Just as I lifted my face to feel His caress I heard the soft strains of the song Breakthrough. It was more than song It was a promise. No matter what was going on in my life my spirit was being prepared for my breakthrough!

I am not shaken I am not moved I 'll wait upon you Lord.....

Consider the wonders ...A desert blessing

My time here in the desert is coming to an end. As I sit here and watch the sun set between mountain peeks, I am a little excited to think of home. I am sad to leave this place where I have had such a wonderful experience both natural and supernatural, but I am eager to see what God has in store for me in Georgia.

When I arrived here I was seeking the hand of God, wanting Him to give me the things I thought would make all my problems go away. I can now return home with a new confidence in my spirit that I am not forgotten . I, like all things created by The God of Wonders, am seen and cared for. Now, as I seek God it will be His face and not His hand that I desire. You see when you seek the face of God you have to get so close to him that you can feel his breath upon your cheek. It is the breath of God that put life into our being. It will be the breath of God that will put life into a lifeless situations. Breath on me Lord. Yesterday is gone and today I am in need!

A friend commented on the first entry that she would like to go into the desert to see the wonders of our creator, you know I think it is a great idea. Her comment made me reflect on the many desert experiences we see in God's word.

Moses found peace in his spirit after committing a horrific crime. In the desert

The Children of Israel wondered in the desert for 40 years until all who grumbled and complained died off. It was a new generation of people who had courage and vision, like Joshua and Caleb, to claim the blessings God had promised.

Let us not forget the victory of Jesus over the Evil One as He was tempted for forty days in the desert. He used the word of God to keep the enemy under His feet.
I now have a new appreciations for these situations.

like Moses I have a peace within me even though things are not fully resolved . I have a few challenges to deal with when I return home, but I'm cool! Just as the one of the mothers of the little church we attended yesterday said " Long as I got King Jesus....".

I have a new sense of courage to say to this world GIVE ME MY MOUNTAIN!

And O thank you Lord I can say I have placed you word deeper into my spirit than ever before!

I have seen how the power of God's word is able to transform any situation. Today I commit to speaking life into my life and the lives of those I love. I see the importance of building up and not tearing down, and I am convinced that love truly concurs all.

I don't want you to think that I have been here eating roots and berries praying and singing spiritual songs.( OK maybe a few times!) During this time I have had the "pleasure " of my son and little cousin. I have had an opportunity to confirm my desire to continue to teach. I pray that the seeds I have planted will take root and reap an abundant harvest.

We have had some rough days with these two but all in all it has been beneficial. I have enjoyed catching up with my cousin and seeing her world. Although it is quite different from mine we both love our children and want only the best for them. She is an awesome woman with a big heart. I thank both she and her husband for allowing us to be in their home and making us feel so welcomed

I have not forgotten those who I left behind. My heart has been burdened in prayer for expectant mothers, those battling cancer, marriages,and finances. We are moving into a time when we will all have to help each other and stand together. I have encountered a lot of different things here, food, weather clothing, and bugs. However the thing that remains the same are the people of God. As we have encountered God's people, we have found them to worship Him in spirit and in truth! Awesome!! Feels just like home!

I can now begin my count down of mountain sunsets and turn my heart to the thought of the sun setting behind the lush green trees of Georgia. I know as I sit on my tiny balcony in my favorite chair I will never forget my time here in the desert and the lessons I have learned. There are more entries to make about my experience, but for now I leave you with this thought: Consider the wonders God has done!

Teresa

Revelation from the desert

Hey everyone this is my first attempt at this blogging thing so read the whole thing and tell me what you think!

When my cousin asked me to come to visit for the summer, I thought "that's a good idea".

I could rest and help out with her son and give my boy a new experience. The trip soon became a business endeavor where I would be teaching several children in the mornings and being a tourist in the afternoon. I thought "That's a really good idea".



Well needless to say God had other plans. We came to the desert, my son and I but things worked out a little differently. I am only working with my little cousin and my son, both are doing great. These guys will be so ready for kindergarten! However, I have found myself rising early in the morning ( still on Georgia time ) and having time to really seek God and experience HIS awesomeness.



The house sits in a valley like area surrounded by mountains, actually the whole community is surrounded by mountains. The landscape is a lot different from the lush green trees of Georgia but it has its own beauty. The sight of the rising or setting sun behind these mountains reminds me that the Lords is still sitting on the throne. You can almost hear the host singing as the sun is coming up and its rays come around the top of the mountains. I don't think I could trade in my Georgia green but man I love the quiet time I have had here just basking in the glory of what God has created.

This was a very distressful year for me. I have felt the enemies attack in my job, marriage, finances and my child's health. This time I have alone has been helpful for me to seek the Lord not just for answers but to climb into his lap and call him daddy. It is then as I feel the warm breeze on my skin that I hear from Him. As I sit and read his word or hum a worship tune I know "All things really do work together for those who love him and are called according to His purpose"



I have to to say the reason I saw my sunset was because it is so very hot here you can only stand to be out early in the day or late at night. The heat is the kind of heat would expect to feel in hell. I jokingly said I was sure to stay in the will of God after experiencing this heat! Hell is not an option. It is also amazing to me how in this heat and dryness there are still beautiful brightly colored flowers coming out of the ground and cactus.



On out trip to the Desert Museum I came across a patch of cactus which had died and was all dried out.The area was rocky and I could hardly see any soil around it. As I got closer I could see a smaller cactus coming out of the dead one, and next to it a bright colored flower! These are the places you insert praise. I had to ask God to make me like the cactus. Even in a dry and seemly dead situation help me to spring forth life. Allow me to bloom and add beauty where I am planted. Let me too bear fruit. The bible tell us they will know us by our fruit. so what are you producing? What have you birthed from your situation?



I had to ask myself those same questions. I realized I had left so many things undone and poorly done. I wanted to bear more fruit. Don't get me wrong my family is my fruit and I am committed to them, but to whom much is given much is required. So as part of my commitment to fruit bearing I am doing the following; I am finishing the process of publishing my first book, starting this blog, and lastly using the gift that God has placed inside me. Because I feared what others might think I refused to do any of these things. I would always find a reason not to do them but now the time has come.



If you are reading this you may be thinking now what dose this have to do with me. Well I'm not sure, What I do know is we should all keep an open mind. Use what you need and toss away what you don't need. I would love for you to come along with me through this journey. You may find out some things about yourself you did not know. Just remember as we strive to bear fruit there will be a pruning process. That's the stuff that hurts. Sometimes we have to expose the ugly to get to the beautiful brightly colored boom God has for us. Can you take it? Are you ready?

Continue to come back and read this blog an oh yes, Let me know what you think .....



Teresa